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Christmas Jokes

12/19/2019

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Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dexter
Dexter who?
Dexter the halls with boughs of holly…

Six-year old Beth was asked what she was going to give her brother for Christmas. “I don’t know,” she answered.
“What did you give him last year?”
“Chicken pox.”
 
George: My dad’s very rich, so I don’t know what to get him for Christmas. What do you give a man who has everything?
Harry: A burglar alarm.
 
A little boy and girl were singing their favourite Christmas carol, “Silent Night.” The boy concluded the rendition with the words, “Sleep in heavenly beans.” His sister quickly corrected him: “It’s not beans, it’s peas.”
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What was Jesus’ mother’s name?
One child answered, “Mary.”
The teacher then asked, “Who knows what Jesus’ father name’s was?
A little kid said,”Verge.”
Confused, the teacher asked, “Where did you get that from?’
The kid said, “Well, you know how they are always talking about ‘Verge and Mary’.”
 
Three young children were playing the parts of the wise men in a school play. At one point they came to Mary and Joseph at the manger and said the following:
Magi 1: Here is the gold.
Magi 2: This is myrrh.
Magi 3: And Frank sent this.
 
Good King Wenceslas rings up a local pizza restaurant
to order a pizza.
“Certainly your Majesty,” says the manager, “will it be your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?”
 
As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual:
“And what would you like for Christmas?”
The child stared at him open-mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my email?” 
 
Dear Santa,
There are three little boys who live at our house.
There’s Jeffrey. He’s two.
There’s David. He’s four.
There’s Norman. He is seven.
Jeffrey is good some of the time.
David is good some of the time.
Norman is good all of the time.
I am Norman.
 
“It’s Christmas every time you let God love others through you…every time you smile at your brother and offer him a hand.”
Mother Teresa
 
 “Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.
The stars in the bright sky looked down where he lay,
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay.”

 
 
 


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    Don Stott- 'Aussie' teacher, pastor and children's worker.
    ​Now retired! 

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